Old Xanga.com Post: October 07, 2002 2:58 AM

I was just thinking about things and getting myself all worked up and pissed off about it.

I was thinking about my goals and the obstacles I face; whatever they may be. Since you’re not me, you don’t know what I’m talking about.

And I just wish we human beings aren’t so fucking stupid, then maybe the world would be a better place.

Thoughts on this Post Today:

Amen sister!

However, upon further investigation on my personal journal, the post was in part referencing a betrayal of sorts. My ex-best friend and my current best friend went behind my back to hang out despite the fact the current best friend knew about the conflict going on. I forgave that friend the next day, but we ended up drifting apart in the subsequent months anyway. There seems to be other stuff going on, but at this point I don’t give a shit about any old school infantile drama, so I’m not going to bother elaborating the details.

I rather talk about the goals and obstacles I had 6 years ago. I was mostly whining about the difficult time I was having in my chemistry class. At that point I was in the pre-med program and was studying to get into med school. I was a sophomore in college and had no idea what I wanted to do. I didn’t know where I wanted to be five years from then. But since I was and still am known for my cold, hard decisiveness, my indecision made me angry.

But to make the story short, a few months down the road from the post on 10/07/02, I had realized I’d be stuck in school for about 12 years and understanding that I’d have no way of committing that much time, I switched from the pre-med program to the comp-sci program. Later, I switched from comp-sci to economics but I ended up switching yet again, graduating with a bachelor of science in resource economics and a bachelor of science in psychology.

So in the end, what I’m doing now has nothing to do with my sophomore year aspirations. College is just a time sink for the indecisive while they get their shit together after graduation. Like how I did.

My current occupation is in the internet marketing and research industry. Because of the trackability of search marketing as an advertising outlet, a bulk of my job includes analyzing such data on the ad campaigns I manage. As dull and boring as it sounds to those that are unfamiliar with the industry, I find it interesting, exciting, and I really enjoy my job.

I’m happy to say that I am where I want to be at this age, at this point in my career. I’ve got some rather lofty goals for the future, which consists of creating a name for myself and ruling the world with my awesomeness. Maybe I’ll refer back to my old posts in the future and ridicule them again, or maybe I’ll be where I want to be. Just you wait and see.

Old Xanga.com Post 5/6/02:

I compiled a list of things that creep me out:

1. Mariah Carey’s boobs. no i am not jealous of it. I don’t know if they are real or fake and I don’t care. All I know is that its way to far apart to be normal. It’s almost alien-like….
2. Hospitals. Its too clean, way too clean.
3. Confined spaces with no windows. I would get paranoid.
4. Really pale people with dark circles under their eyes. they look like zombies. Nuff’ said.

My thoughts on this post Today:

1. Mariah Carey’s boobs don’t creep me out as much anymore. Partially because I haven’t been too caught up with the here and now of MTV or HipHip music in general, and partially because I think her star has fallen and just isn’t as popular anymore with less appearances on TV and no one seems to care about her anymore.
2. Hospitals still do creep me out, not because they’re too clean, but more so the chemically smell associated with hospitals.
3. I’m okay with confined spaces with no windows now -so long as I’m not stuck in said confined spaces with no windows with someone who smells or is just plain annoying.
4. Really pale people with dark circles under their eyes still really creep me out. It’s just me going against the majority of Asian cultures that consider lighter skin tones as more “beautiful” or “pure.” Bullocks. I think really pale people just look unhealthy, and unhealthy is unattractive to me.

Additional things that creep me out:

1. Bugs. Yes. Bugs.
2. Decrepit old white men. Think John McCain, and you’ll know what I mean.
3. Religious people. I mostly feel bad but sometimes, their zeal and the “crazy person” glint in their eyes scare the shit out of me.

Old Xanga.com Post 4/30/02:

A funny, funny story:

God was just about done creating the universe but he had two extra things left over in his bag so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.

He told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. “It’s a very handy thing,” God told them, “and I was wondering if either one of you would like that.”

Adam jumped up and down and begged, “Oh, give that to me! I’d love to be able to do that.” On and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he should have it.

So God gave it to Adam. He was so excited he went off to write his name in the sand, laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him for a moment and then God said to Eve, “Well, here’s the other thing and I guess you can have it.” “What’s it called?” Eve asked.

“Brains.” God said.

Thoughts on this post today:

This was my second ever entry during freshman year of college. I’m not sure if I actually wrote the entry or if I found it somewhere online. I think I found it somewhere and just posted it to make me seem interesting.

The old posts that refer to God in any way make me laugh a little, because things have changed so drastically in my theological beliefs. But that aside, I was still the same me, albeit with a weaker personality back then, but I could see in me the budding feminist that is developing in posting up entries like this.